I Can't Believe I Chose That for Myself

A few days ago I watched a reel of a young woman who was pissed at herself because she was unable, in the moment, to defend herself from a rude comment someone made to her while playing pickleball.

Relatable.

In the moment, when you're surprised, taken off guard, or simply enjoying life so much that you forget it can be shitty, well in those moments it can be especially difficult to remember to stand up for yourself.

And, sometimes we just forget because we're so used to monitoring our behavior and our responses to ensure we fit in, to avoid upsetting the applecart, to keep a low profile.

It reminded me of this story I posted here, about a work trip to NYC and how a small team of us made bad choices for ourselves and each other. It wasn't malicious. It was just thoughtless. React instead of think. Go with the flow. Time is more important than comfort or safety.

And what I noticed is that we often do this to ourselves.

We say yes when we're over-scheduled already.

We say no when we're actually really excited about a prospect & then we have to back track.

We made a decision and then think to ourselves, why did I do that? That's not who I want to be. That doesn't represent my values and character.

That's the point. You have to think about what situations you may face. Prepare for them. This is true both for yourself and when you're leading others. 

Boss Leaders anticipate discussions, decisions and situations and prepare for how to respond to them. This doesn't mean you're up all night agonizing about life. It means you thoughtfully prepare. You know yourself and your values.  You pause and think before acting. You think through what you believe is right for you and what the right choices, behaviors and situations are for your team, too.

And, if you make the wrong choice you recognize it, own it, and amend it. Take the steps to do better the next time.